Thursday, June 24, 2010

volunteering sucks...a bible girl gone bad

so isn't volunteering supposed to make you feel like you're contributing to society? Give you the warm fuzzies and add a bit of spring into your Mary Poppins step? why does it just irritate me? how many hours should it take to organize 150 volunteers for a community bbq? Alot! Too many. Lucky for me it's all over come saturday!

I was raised Uber-religious. First Catholic, then Pentecostal Assemblies, and then the Victory Chuch. I was a peer-tutor, I taught Sunday School, I was awarded the United Way award for volunteering. I used to love to volunteer and didn't really feel like it was demanding too much of me. Now, between 2 kids, a man, a long distance family and daily life, I'm full up of giving. This community bbq just reminds of that fact.

When I was in bible school I volunteered at the homeless shelter as good Christian girls should. Problem was, I didn't really see those people as real people. And now, a more mature and worldwise me knows they didn't really appreciate the little pep chat I had to spew at them out of moral compunction. Since I left the church (mostly the Victory cult) I've learned so much about really seeing people as people rather than projects to be fixed. Nobody wants to be someone's pet project.

So I'm a bible girl gone bad. Lived in sin - it was the best decision I made during my early 20's. My husband and I have a great relationship and are very well matched. I am a member at an Alliance church that doesn't jump all over every decision and ask me to accept the word of church leaders as a direct word from above. I think there are alot of ex-Victory Church-ers out there, scarred from the demands of that church and the money hungry Hills. How is their retirement home in Hawaii anyway? I think God is trying to tell me to let it go. I get that feeling every time I drive by the Victory Church that sprang up in my neighborhood a few years ago. The feeling creeps in when I get little notices in the mail from them and it makes me want to scream, run down there and graffiti a warning on the front doors. Things are not as they appear people!!!So what brought on this rant? Hubby is watching season 2 of True Blood and they're showing the Leadership Retreat of the Church of the Sun....uncanny how true to life it is!!

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